Proverbs 31 Woman
First, I would like to take a minute and
say that in the vastness of God’s greatness, He has made us each unique, with
our own unique worldview. We all worship Him differently. As long as it does
not violate an individuals’ interpretation of the Bible, we should never
despise someone who may be fighting for the cause in a different way. Fighting
for the cause can be good or bad depending both on one’s method and their motive.
A motive can involve love or it can involve hate. Giving one’s life for a cause
can either be an act of radicalism or an act of courage. The brave may calmly
accept death or fight to the end, but they do not kill innocent people. Consequently,
if someone is worshiping God in a positive way, who cares how it is done? We each
have our own unique worldview, in which no two people or two lives are the same.
Therefore, we should expect, accept and welcome diversity and differences, not
judge them according to our personal worldview.
That being said, here is one of my
interpretations:
Proverbs 31 says: “it is
not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink, for they
will drink and forget the decreed, and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to him whose life is
bitter. Let him forget his poverty and remember trouble no more.”
I read this passage and
thought it peculiar to be right before the “proverbs 31 woman” description. In
fact, immediately after this passage, the Bible says: “Open your mouth for the
mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge
righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.” This interested
me because the bible seemed aware of the addictions and crimes people struggle
with on a moment to moment basis, yet it did not condemn them. If the bible acknowledges
it, God acknowledges it. God is quite aware of the fact that we don’t do what
we want to do (Romans 7:15). These people do these things to dull their pain
from the “thorn in their flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).
Oddly, Proverbs 31 then discusses
the traits of a good Christian woman. This coincidence could be a message to people
who are afflicted with pains that cause them to do whatever they can to dull
it. We all have thorns in our sides, but we do not have to let them stop us
from living a Godly life. Though we constantly struggle between our spirit and
our flesh (Romans 7:14-25), we are still considered righteous if we believe in
the gospel. I bet many women will read about the “Proverbs 31 Woman” and
probably think they will never equate. Little do they know, God has always been
transforming them (Romans 7:5-6). The Christian walk is on a hard road of trials,
mistakes, and lessons, but it is not done in vain. The apostle Paul said “For I
consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared
with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18).
I had wanted to read the
bible and find the scripture that describes what a good woman is, the so called
“Proverbs 31 woman”. I was expecting to see all the things I was not, and the
numerous areas in my life where I didn’t meet the standard. In my mind, I am
failing at life and I may never be the person I want to be. Deep down, I feel
shame. I don’t like myself. I see myself as lazy. I see myself as an addict whose
house is falling apart. I see children going in the wrong direction and are too
involved in technology to have social interaction. I am a girl who watches movies
all the time; a girl whose home is a mess, and walks around depressed and
alone. That girl is too afraid to even try. I saw life as being just within my
reach. I was surprised with what I learned.
Interestingly, as I began
to read, I thought of areas in my life where I may have fulfilled some of the
traits within the scripture. If I translated some of the examples into modern
day allegories, I could see that I indeed do those things. I had not realized I
chose to view my world through a negative lens. I then remembered one of the fundamental
ideas of Narrative therapy. In Narrative therapy, a counselor helps a client
create parallel realities for life events. In turn, this would allow a client
to choose a more positive perspective for their life. I then decided to rewrite
my life’s narrative. The following narrative includes facts told from a
different perspective; these facts are the positive truths rather than the
negative truths I am used to:
I possess qualities described in Proverbs 31. This, of
course, is considering the idea that I am doing the best I can with what I have.
I try, despite the additional struggles I fight with such as introversion and
depression.
I wake up. I go to work every
day and help people in pain. I help heal them, even if it is only teeth.
Sometimes a good smile will give someone their confidence back. I greet people
every day and I try to make them feel good about who they are. I try to make
them happy and laugh. I never deny God. Instead, I praise him when the time is
right. I encouraged a girl from work to get back in church. She struggles with
desires of the world, but every day I see her growing in the lord. I provide
insight for my coworkers, friends, and family that encourage them to see life
from a different angle. They all like me and think about me. I counsel them and
encourage them. I work a full time job and then I head to my internship site
and counsel, heal, and encourage people. Then I pick up my kids from school and
ask them about their day. I try to get to know them. I listen to them intently.
I find them dinner. I then help them with homework. I help them try to do
chores, be responsible men, know how to manage money, be respectful, know how
to cook, know how to treat a lady, and I work very hard at trying to make them
feel good about themselves. This is all despite the huffs and puffs I get in return;
the whining and crying; the laziness; the fighting, and the emotional
outbursts. I make sure they are bathed. I tell them I love them as much as I
can and show them lots of affection. I tuck them in every night and pray with
them. I buy them things, even when I am not with them. I work really hard to be
good with their dad and make the most of our modern day family. I try to be
crafty with them to encourage their artistic expression. I do all this while
going to school full time to get a master’s degree in counseling. I work full
time; go to school full time; am involved in an internship and am a fulltime
single mother. I do my best to attend every school event. I go to events during
school and after. I have my children in karate and sports. I take them to the
movies, I take them bowling, I take them to do pottery, festivals, museums, zoos,
and the aquarium. I took one to Mexico. I arrange play dates. I do all these
things and take care of a house, a mortgage, a car, and all the little things
in between like laundry and groceries. I go to church every week and take my
kids when I have them. I attend events. I pray for people. I go to bible study
every week. I randomly call friends to see how they are doing. I make efforts
to stay in touch with family, even though I am the only one who calls them. I spend
time with Renee and Cameron. I make time for friends. I loan money to people in
need. I am gentle and considerate. I give money to the homeless and to worthy
causes. I sponsor two children and give money to a Christian radio station. I
do my best to keep up with household chores. It is difficult with depression,
and isolation. Unlike extroverts with good social skills, these things are
difficult to do and take great effort. It takes a good deal of work to be a
better person. These are things I do, though I don’t realize it. Instead, wish
I could do more.
I realize I am fulfilling gods will and I am adequate.
I’m okay and I’m right where I should be. I think I get into trouble when I
allow my thoughts to flood my mind and tell me useless worries. These worries
are crippling, yet my life continues on the same path whether or not I worry
about tomorrow. I doubt God wants us to worry about things. I think He wants us
to enjoy our life serving Him, to enjoy fighting for the cause, and to love Him
for it.
